Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
