Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize