That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i believe in u and ur pee
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
