OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's never too late to be topless.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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