Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
