i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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