For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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