yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
