im gay
i know
yea but for you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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