You can't motorboat a personality
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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