He is such a slut. More and more my type.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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