Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
