We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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