i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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