it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
