I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
