hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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