i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
