Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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