guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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