how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
