can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
