I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
