my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have feelings that need drinking.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
