Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
