im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize