Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
