My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
