her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
