Kiss
Puke
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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