There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
