i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
