WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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