It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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