she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
