Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
