ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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