Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
