oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
