wake up i wanna do it froggy style
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
