At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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