I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
two words...techno handjob
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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