I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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