I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
