omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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