I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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