Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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