Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
