I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
