Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
