i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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