jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
