Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
