Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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