please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
