who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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