Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
