thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
