I want to walk on stilts...naked
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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