loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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