She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
